I wish to use this opportunity to apologize to the People´s Republic of China, the members of the Communist Party´s Politburo, its top leaders, and especially former President my friend Hu Jintao, as well as other important people like Xi Jinping, Li Keqiang, Zhang Dejiang and Madame Yeoh .
My Chinese friends, when I saw that my blog was being read in China I was very happy. But then I realized that I had a single reader who was sitting at a desk in a state security agency. And that has left me a little scared, because the governments of Cuba, North Korea, Iran, Venezuela, Azerbaijan, Russia, Italy, UK, Israel and the Vatican already have their agents watching me. Not to mention the American empire´s agents, and the Catalans who persecute me because I wrote their team represented Qatar instead of Barcelona.
I am a humble mouse, a coward who kneels and asks forgiveness for calling you sell outs to capitalism, and for saying you, the great Chinese people, would be willing to join the British Empire if they paid you cash.
I am a big fan of Peng Liyuan, my favorite song is “People of Our Village”, and I hate the corrupt Bo Xilai. I don´t practice Falun Gong and I like Chinese food (which I eat with chopsticks as protocol requires).
To show you my friendly attitude I can help persuade the British people to become a province of China and build a replica of Tian’anmen square with ramps for heavy vehicles in central London.
Once we are in control we won´t allow the British to raise a ruckus and imitate the Chinese guy who stood in front of the tank column in Beijing during the Tiananmen incident in 1989.
Moreover, to prove my loyalty to the party and win the confidence of the Politburo, I support building a large wall around Hyde Park, and the construction of a Ming style tower in its center to symbolize the union of the Chinese and British peoples. This architectural marvel will give tourists something beautiful to photograph, because as we know Windsor Palace has little aesthetic value and the tourist industry requires fresh attractions.
Now that I think about it, we could also bring the Dalai Lama to London and give speeches about Chinese civilization.